Road Trippin'
by The Spirit Writer
Summary: The whole gang from CSI Miami are headed to Disney World...The only one who seems to realize how completely ridiculous this is is Calleigh. While traveling, and in the park itself they run into several different problems...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Horatio Caine, Alexx Woods, Ryan Wolfe, Natalia Boa Vista, Calleigh Duquene, or Eric Delco, or anyone else from CSI: Miami... yet. They are the property of CBS, I think. But the story-line is mine. Oh I also don't own Disney World.

The CSI's are Road tripping to Disney World! Ryan, ERic, and Natalia are in the parking lot of the lab.

Ryan: "Can we go yet? Can we go yet?!" *Bounces up and down*

Eric: "We're trying to go…if someone would hurry up…"

Ryan: "Where's Calleigh?"

Eric: "Lord knows… and only him. No one else can find her."

Ryan: "I wanna go!!!"

Eric: "Well, what do you want me to do about?" *Under Breath* "Brat."

Ryan: "I heard that!" * Tries to hit Eric and misses*

Eric: "Epic fail."

Natalia: "No offence Ryan, But that was pretty bad."

Eric: * Hits Ryan*

Ryan: *Tries to hit him back*

Eric: *Grabs Ryan's arm and squeezes*

Ryan: "Ow, ow, ow! Stop Eric! Ow!"

Natalia: "Eric leave Ryan alone, would you please." *Sighs*

*Alexx and Horatio walk up with Calleigh*

Calleigh: "You do know this is ridiculous right? Right? We have JOBS! We're just gonna take off and go to Disney World? Seriously? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

Horatio: "You're coming. This is a … bonding experience. Now get in the car."

Calleigh: "Fine, But I'm not gonna like it."

Alexx: "No one said you had to…Just pretend for the sake of everyone else." *Looks at Calleigh pleadingly*

Calleigh: *Rolls eyes* "Okay." *Grins* "But I'm gonna expect something in return…"

*Jumps in Hummer*

Horatio: "Ryan and Natalia, sit in back please."

Ryan: I can't H. Remember, I get car sick?!

Calleigh: "Bloody Hell."

Ryan: *Sing-song* "You have to put a dollar in the swear-jar!"

Calleigh: "Or I could take the swear jar, and smash it over your head."

Ryan: "You have to put a dollar in the un-necessary-violence-jar!"

Horatio: "Fine, Calleigh's in the back with Natalia."

Calleigh: "Oh, that's brilliant. Put Ryan and Eric together. By the time we get there, this will be another crime scene we have to investigate.

Horatio: "Don't get," *removes sunglasses* "snappy. Eric and Natalia in back, Ryan and Calleigh in the middle."

*Everyone gets in*

Alexx: "Does anyone have to go to the bathroom before we leave?"

Ryan: "Oh me!"

Calleigh: "Oh my god. We stood outside for a half hour, and you didn't go then?"

Ryan: "I didn't have to then." *Tries to get out of the car, trips on Calleigh and falls*

"Opps, Sorry!" *runs out*

*Awkward silence*

Calleigh: "I hate all of you"

End Chapter 1

PS: I don't hate CSI Miami, I love it. But, it is fun to make fun of. I'm not trying to offend any of you more devout fans. Any-who, later folks!


	2. Chapter 2

Back by popular demand!!!! I give you Chapter 2!!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami, or any of it's characters or trademarks. But someday I will! Muh Ha Ha Ha

Ten minutes after Chapter 1….

Ryan: "I'm back!!!" *Jumps in the car and trips over Calleigh trying to get in... again…"

Eric: "How is it you manage to trip over everything?"

*Tripp appears from the trunk of the car*

Tripp: "Did someone say my name?"

Alexx: Nope, Sorry.

Calleigh:*Stunned Expression* "WTF?"

Ryan: *Sing Song* "Dollar!"

Natalia: "Does that count as a swear?"

Eric: "I Dunno…"

Ryan: "Dollar!"

Calleigh: "I'm not giving you a dollar!!! Why do you care about a dollar?! There's a man. In. The. Trunk

Ryan: "DOLLAR!!"

Natalia: "Maybe you should just give him the dollar Cal."

Eric: "Nah, that'll just encourage him."

Horatio: "ALL OF YOU BE QUIET!!!!"

*Dead Silence*

Horatio: "Thank you."

Natalia: *Raises Hand*

Horatio: Yes Natalia?

Natalia: "Um, I hate to interrupt, but would it be okay if we, you know, started to drive?

Horatio: "Yes" *Starts car*

Calleigh: "This is going to be a long trip."

Tripp: "Did someone say my…"

All except Calleigh: *Interrupting* "Nope!"

Calleigh: "REALLY?!"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI Miami, CBS does. I do not own your local Seven-11, or it's affiliates, or the Big Gulp, which to my knowledge is a registered trademark of Seven-11.

If I did you'd be able to get quadruple Big Gulps. Just sayin'.

Ryan: "I'm bored."

Natalia: "Actually, me to."

Eric: "We could play a game."

Calleigh: "Not a chance" *pops in headphones*

Eric: "Everyone picks a color:

Ryan: "Umm, Purple."

Eric: *grins maniacally* "Perfect. Nat?"

Natalia: "Is blue okay?"

Eric: "Fine. I want red. Now, whoever counts the most cars that color wins!"

Ryan: "NO FAIR!! You didn't say it was cars. There aren't any purple cars! Do over!"

Eric: "Nope, sorry"

Natalia: "Hey, I got one!"

Ryan: "You're mean! I quit!

Eric: *Shrugs nonchalantly* "Cool"

*The hummer pulls into a Seven-11*

Natalia: "Why'd we stop?"

Horatio: "We need gas"

Calleigh: *removing headphones* "Why'd we stop?

Ryan: "He just said. We need gas, stupid."

Calleigh: Well, at least I didn't choose to look for purple cars. No wonder we need gas. We're in a Hummer. Did no one ever think of a more eco-friendly vehicle?"

Horatio: *Getting out of Hummer*: "We ride in a Hummer…to look cool" *puts on glasses*

Eric: "I'm starving, can we get some food?"

Alexx: "I guess s…"

Ryan: *interrupting* "I want a Big Gulp!"

Alexx: " Now Ryan, you no you can't have a Big Gulp."

Ryan: "Why not?! Eric is allowed to have one!"

Calleigh: "It probably has something to do with the fact that you almost wet yourself driving from the lab to Little Havana the last time anyone let you drink that m…"

Ryan:*interrupting* "Shut up Cal. Can I have a Slushy?

Calleigh: "Ryan, the last thing we need is you drinking liquid sugar in a small moving vehicle."

Eric: "He'd probably fall out a window."

Calleigh: *Pausing* "On second thought, go for it bud."

Alexx: "Calleigh! Eric, here's enough money for everyone to get something to eat and drink.

Ryan: "Yay!"

To be continued….


	4. Chapter 4

A/n so I'm the worst author ever. I could go on about Exams and my Australian family coming home for Christmas, but I won't. I am now going to post minimum a chapter a week. And for those of you still willing to read after all this time, I thank you. Thanks for all the lovely reviews. Keep um coming!

Disclaimer: I still don't own CSI Miami or Disney World. I do own my characters, and am "Borrowing" Friends pen names. Don't worry, we're just heere to make the chapter longer, you most likely will not see us again (sorry Sphinx). Any how, read on!

*15 minutes later*

Ryan:*hops in car* I GOT A SLUSHIE!

Alexx: That's nice.

*Calleigh Eric and Natalie get in. Ryan promptly spills slushie on Eric*

Eric:*Hit's Ryan* You idiot!

Alexx: Don't call Ryan an Idiot! Go clean your shirt.

Eric. *Stands up causing Slushie to rain on Ryan.* Fine.

Ryan: *Sobs* :MY SLUSHIE!

Alexx: Natalia,go help Ryan get another Slushie. Calleigh see if you can clean this up. I'm going to go get some paper towel.

Calleigh: *Cleaning up Slushie with Kleenex* :Ryan is such a mess.

Jesse.: Did someone say my name? *Appears from trunk*

Calleigh: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs screaming*

*1 minute later*

Calleigh: I'm not getting in there until I know how many people are in the damn trunk!

Ryan: DOLLAR!

Calleigh: *Takes a dollar bill, folds it into a paper plane, and throws it*

Ryan: YAY! *Chases Dollar*

Eric: Look Cal, I'll just look in the trunk and see who's in there, okay... *opens trunk* *Tripp, Jesse, The Author of this story and the authors 3 best friends fall out of trunk*

Spirit: Umm...hey!

Calleigh: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH * passes out * Horatio: What's going on?

Spirit: Nothing Sir.

CallMeSphinx: *Grins Evily*

TheLightOfReaon: I knew this was a bad idea.

no-name-training-products: Can I have your autograph?!

Spirit: Shut up! Um, we were just going to Disney World and thought we'd carpool?

Horatio: Alright!

Light: Really?

Sphinx: Told you he was stupid.

Spirit: Shh...But, we uh, decided to take a cab now...so bye.


	5. Chapter 5

*Disney World Parking Lot*

Ryan: We're here!!!!!

Calleigh: * Fake enthusiasm * We know!!!!

Ryan: I'm gonna go on that one, and that one, and that one... * points to various rides *

Horatio: Someone remember...where we parked.

Natalia: Unicorn 23!

Eric: Dragon 22!

Natalia: Wha...?

Eric: I thought we were naming numbers and mythical creatures...

Natalia: No...That's where we're parked.

Eric:...Kay.

Alexx: Now everyone stay together, and we'll take the tram to the entrance...

*Everyone is gone *

Alexx: Or not *Runs to catch up *

*On the Tram *

Announcer: Please keep small children seated on the inside of the tram, between adults.

Eric: You heard him, Ryan, sit in the middle.

Ryan: NO!

Horatio: Just...get on...before we miss...the tram.

Ryan, Eric, Calleigh, Natalia, Alexx, and Horatio get on.*

Eric: Hey look, Ryan, it's Mickey!

Ryan: * Excitedly * Where?! Where?! *FALLS OFF TRAM *

Eric: Fail.

Calleigh: * Hysterically Laughing *

Alexx: *Gasps in horror *

*They wait until the tram stops at the gate, then get off*

Alexx: Okay, I'll go back and get Ryan. Natalia, Eric and Calleigh, take a walkie talkie in case we need you, and we'll meet up later.

Eric: Cool.

Natalia: Can we have some money, you know, in case of an emergency...

Alexx: Good idea!!

*Hands Natalia money, then she and Horatio leave.*

Calleigh: Good plans guys!

*Natalia and Eric grin*


	6. Chapter 6

AN I broke my promise, and I'm a terrible person. In my defence I don't usually write this kind of thing, so it's just sort of filler between my other stories for me. So, no more promises. It will be posted when it's posted. Mid terms are soon, so it could be a while. But for those of you still with me, my lovely fans, here's a reminder what's happened thus far....

Recap: So after arriving at Disney World, Eric and Natalia, (and shockingly not Calleigh,) use their maniacal powers to ditch Ryan, and get money. While Alexx and H look for Ryan, Calleigh, Eric and Natalia head into the park...

PS: Italics are American Sign Language, If you don't know what it is, Google it.

**In park...**

Eric: So, What are we doing first?

Calleigh: Everything.

**They get in line for a ride**

Natalia: This is ridiculous! It'll be hours before we get on!

Eric: We should get those fast pass things and come back later.

**They get passes, then go to a ride with a shorter line**

**Meanwhile, in the parking lot...**

Alexx: Ryan? Ryan! Where are you?

Ryan: OW!! **lying on ground, about fifty feet from Alexx**

Alexx: Omygod! Ryan, hone, are you okay?

**A horn honks and Alexx turns to see another tram approaching**

Alexx:Ryan! Get out of the way!!!

Ryan:** Sits up: **Huh? HOLY CRAP!

**Gets hit by a tram**

Ryan: **GROAN**

**Elsewhere**

Horatio: **humming the mission impossible theme and hoping about with a finger gun.**

Little Boy: **Signing**: _Mom, what's the crazy man doing?_

Mother: _You shouldn't call people crazy, Billy. He's Mentally Disabled._

Horatio: **Also signing to Billy and his Mother: **_It's alright ma'am. _**Crouching. **_Hello Billy my name is__**: **_**Removes Sunglasses.**

Billy: _WHAT?! That;s not a name, that's stupidity in the form of a man!!!_

Horatio: Well that wasn't very nice! **Skips off**

**Back in the parking lot**

Alexx: **Helps Ryan up: **Are you Okay?!

Ryan: I think so?

Alexx: Oh, the others will be so relieved! Let me Radio them! **Turns on Radio **Eric, Calleigh, Natalia, are you there? I found Ryan!

**Calleigh, Eric, and Natalia**

**Ignore the Walkie-Talkie**

**Alexx and Ryan**

Alexx: That's odd! Perhaps they're somewhere noisy, and can't hear us.

Ryan: **Rolls his eyes : **Yeah, that must be it

**They start walking to the entrance**

For those of you who didn't catch that, apparently, the sign for 滴oratio CaineIs simply removing your sunglasses. Try it on someone. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added my story to your subscription list! You guys are awesome!!! Thanks also to my fantastic younger brother for the sign language idea. Tyler,you have no idea how much you are an inspiration. Thanks Buddy!!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Dear Readers

The final chapter! (Finally) My brother and I have noticed, as you may have, That CBS seems intent on killing off all of the original cast of CSI Miami. I have absolutely no problem with this, and in fact, I have a very 'Creative' list of ways they could do it. However, today I will employ none of these brilliant strategies. Instead, I will amaze you with my incredible powers of making people look stupider then they actually are! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned CSI Miami, the crime lab would have blown up three seasons ago. Did it? No? Well then what do you think are the chances that these aren't my characters?

And now for our Feature Presentation!

**a few hours after entering the park...**

Horatio: Oh...my god...A giant mouse! **whacks Mickey**

Ryan: H, it's Mickey, don't hit him!

Calleigh: This should end well...

Mickey: **shoves Horatio**

Eric: My money's on Mickey...

Natalia: I dunno, Horatio has a gun...

Horatio: **slaps Mickey**

Ryan: Don't hurt Mickey!

Mickey: **calls for back up**

Horatio: There's more! And... a duck! And...what the hell is that?

Ryan: It's a goofy!

Eric: Ryan, he means what type of animal...

Ryan: **blank look**

Calleigh: **face palm**

Horatio: OW! **Getting his butt kicked by Disney Characters**

Natalia: Fail.

Horatio: Run! **takes off**

**Callleigh, Eric, Natalia, Ryan, and Alexx follow**

Horatio: We're leaving...now.

Ryan: Aw...but-

Horatio: **angry face**

Calleigh: You heard the man Ryan, to the Hummer!

**2 minutes later, in the Hummer**

Natalia: That was fun...

Horatio: **Driving away very, very quickly**

Ryan: **sniffling**

Alexx: What's wrong Ryan?

Ryan: Mickey's gonna hate me! **bawling**

Calleigh, Eric, and Natalia: **simultaneous face-palm**

Ryan: I have to go to the bathroom!

Calleigh: We just started driving!

Ryan: I gotta go!

Horatio: **pulls over**

Ryan: What? I'm not going on the side of the road!

Eric: There's trees.

Ryan: **grumbling, gets out**

**Awkward silence**

Ryan: **screaming, runs back to car**

Calleigh: What's the matter?

Ryan: Crazy animal!

Horatio: IT'S...THE GIANT MOUSE! **Runs to the trees**

Calleigh: I doubt very much that Mickey followed us.

Horatio: HOLY...COW!

**Everyone gets out**

Calleigh: That's not a cow. It's a moose.

Horatio: Mouse...Where?

Calleigh: Moose, not mouse.

Eric: Are there Moose in Florida?

Calleigh: Who cares, I'm taking a picture.

Horatio: **pokes moose**

Moose: **looks pissed**

Natalia: Um, Horatio, you probably shouldn't do that...

Horatio: **pokes moose again**

Moose: **chases Horatio**

Horatio: **screams and runs**

Calleigh: Oh, this is going on Youtube! **films him with her phone**

Eric: Go moose go!

Horatio: **runs past** Hey!

Calleigh: Can we go now?

Alexx:...Why not?

**Everyone but Horatio gets in the Hummer**

Horatio: **still being attacked by a moose**

Aleex: **starts driving away** That was the stupidest day of my life.

Calleigh: Ditto.

Eric: Yep!

Natalia: By far...

Ryan: ...I still have to pee.

A/N: And so ends a saga... I apologize for the moose. Thank you to those of you who reviewed and favorited, and to my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Call Me Sphinx for the moose thing. Any-who, Thank you, merci, and gracias for reading my plot-less parody. You all rock!

Thank you, and goodnight!


End file.
